“Got Forgiveness?” Live Video and Teaching on the Spirit of Offense
Forgiveness -what is it really? Do you have it and can we as mere mortals actually give it away?
An important aspect of forgiveness that causes us to “beg the question” is whether or not we have actually forgiven the other party if there are still feelings of anger, disillusionment, or disagreement.
“Being angry does not necessarily equate unforgivenesss.”
YES, you can be angry or have ‘unresolved feelings’ and still forgive. Forgiveness is a choice and a decision that we make in obedience to God’s love for us. Our minds, hearts, and souls, however, may need to go through a process of releasing “ourselves” from the after-effects and residual consequences of the offense.
God understands that our hearts require a process, healing time, and personal growth – in order to experience all the benefits that the gift of forgiveness has to offer. Both us and the offender.
Oftentimes, we “don’t feel like” we have forgiven someone – and it is at these times that we must remember that forgiveness is not just a feeling. It is a command to act in a way that reflects God’s love and divine nature.
Forgiveness can be defined as a preemptive and divine act of grace that we cannot take credit for, but can only yield to in submission to a love and power much greater than our own.
So the answer is: Yes. You can forgive and still feel the pain, anger, and hurt.
What seems paradoxical to us is that “the act” of forgiveness can happen instantaneously. In one moment, instant forgiveness can be released to the offender. How we feel about the offense and the offender, and the offense itself for that matter, can be something different altogether.
Recovery from the damages done to our lives and relationships can take us down many paths and our “recovery” rarely happens instantly. This becomes a process that will vary as much for the individual in question as the circumstances and situations where the offenses took place themselves. This can indeed be a very long-term process and journey in our walk of faith. We must know that God is willing to walk with us if we forsake not His ways for our own.
We can see in Scripture that forgiveness is always presented as an act of God’s grace towards His people and creation that we must first receive from God before we can truly give it to others. Many of us have not forgiven ourselves, rejecting God’s offer because we have placed ourselves as our own final judge. Those of us who have this tendency will very likely extend the treatment to others. This is why we insist that God’s love and forgiveness must be fully received to be fully given.
Have you ever experienced a time when “you thought” you had forgiven someone only to later take it back – or to discover that what had been extended was “only circumstantial” or emotionally extended with no transforming value or healing virtue?
Forgiving vs. Conceding
We must understand that forgiveness doesn’t take away the crime or the offense committed against us. We sometimes “question” God’s ability to right the wrong. Or we simply want to exact our own price of blood on our offenders, making them our new victims.
There are two primary components that must be attended to by the one expected to forgive.
(1) What is the penalty for their actions and who gives us the right to decide what that is?
(2) Why is God in the place and position of Sovereign Judge over His creation?
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)
When we exercise God’s forgiveness, rather than our own vengeance and wrath, “the individual has the opportunity to begin a process that can lead to a place of ultimate repentance and forgiveness from God.”
We can also find ourselves in a situation where someone has not really repented in their hearts for what they have done to us and, therefore, forgiveness towards this person is experienced only in words and not in deed or practice. They do not allow us to extend that grace.
Whether the forgiver extends, or the offender seeks it from the one offended, individually, we must all take our “repentant heart” to the only one who can FORGIVE SIN.
The concept of man’s forgiveness that is extended to others (as we commonly use the term in everyday practice) is not able to wash away the sin/trespass that has been ultimately committed against God. We don’t carry that aspect of forgiveness, but we do represent God’s goodness and grace when we forgive our neighbor.
When our forgiveness “isn’t enough…”
Different ends of the spectrum
The story of the “rogue” disciple of Jesus, Judas Iscariot, is an example of a kind of trespass or transgression rooted in iniquity. Christ, Himself offers no road to repentance for Judas either before or after his treasonous and murderous plot. This is in part due to the condition of his heart. His true condition predated his decision to “commit a crime” and was not even deterred by Jesus acknowledging that he knew his betrayer.
Here is an example of a man who was afterward “sorry and sore with regret,” but who could not find any relief or recourse in this life. There was simply no “GODLY sorrow” or remorse in his character or soul that would lead to repentance. He was allowed to succumb to the full realization of what he had done and was unable to live with his crimes.
Unable to ask Jesus Himself for forgiveness and, more importantly, the forgiveness of sin. His peril ended in a self-inflicted edict of hanging himself. This act of separation alone shows us the power of forgiveness and “unforgiveness” in the lives of human beings. It speaks to the way we have been hard-wired by God. Spiritually, mentally, psychologically, and even physically to be relieved of our burden’s through God’s forgiveness.
Our Christlike Position
We don’t have to feel compelled to do God’s work of justice and judgment for him. Though we may have a part to play in our own obedience, we can be sure that His measures and weights are always perfect. Never unbalanced. Never wrong.
I believe the picture of Judas Iscariot is one of so many who have and can find no peace, no escape from the weight of their sins. Without the saving and forgiving power of our Lord, we are left with only desperation and A power to which we can only be a mirror or a glimpse of something truly holy and divine.
- Studies show that many people who get away with crimes are really happy in the beginning. Feeling no sense of initial regret, they experience a sense of exhilaration, even thrill, and excitement -a fulfillment that they have gotten away with the caper – that will turn undoubtedly turn into torment to their chagrin. Over time, the weight of their sins, the condemnation, and guilt overshadows their “winners complex” and destroys them slowly but surely from the inside out. They regularly turn to self-medicate before they self-destruct. We must remember that when God says that “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” it comes in many different forms, just as “His ways are not like our ways.”
Man’s role in forgiveness is about showing God’s mercy, love, and truth [on this side of the equation] by extending what he has offered the whole world through faith in His Son: “Salvation.” This is the true power that we have to demonstrate. This is the -way out! We show the world and those around us that we are willing to “give freely from the measure of what has been given freely to us.”
This is a true act of divine love. Something that we must grow into ourselves. I think so often the injury that remains in our lives “post forgiveness” is due to the fact that we do not obey God’s word in “other key and essential areas” after forgiveness is released. More often times than not, we miss the instruction of obedience found in God’s word that gives us the clear wisdom we need to walk through or walk out of relationships where spiritual breaches, unrepentance, or unequally yoked situations occur and have us bound.
They Want forgiveness vs. They Don’t Want Forgiveness
It is a fact of life that everyone who does us wrong is not interested in being forgiven. Nor are they seeking God’s restoration or forgiveness. What does the word teach us in these more painful situations? What can we do to ensure that we remain in right standing with God, ourselves, and others?
Must we forgive people who do not want or ask for forgiveness?
The first question is how does God deal with this? How does he instruct us to deal with two very different groups of people? With different hearts and motives.
There are those who don’t care or have no conscience or conviction of sin. Leave them to God, but do not leave your future and destiny in unforgiveness with them. Release them of the offense against you – even if they don’t want it – because at the end of the day? They have to reconcile their account with God and not men. With men it’s optional. With God, it is not. They may seem to be free of the harm done, but you are not. There is only one way to experience the true liberty of God’s grace and that is by taking yourself out of the “control box” and putting God back in His rightful place as “Sovereign ruler, master, and judge.”
There will even be those who feel justified in their sins or trespass against you. This will certainly add insult to injury. To these, I say, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” OUR LORD PASSES THE BUCK TO THE FATHER –So even if they do know and are deliberate and willful offenders God is just and knows exactly what they need in his greater plan for all parties involved.
When you don’t know for sure?
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.” It is a fact that we cannot know the hearts of men, except by the will and revelation of the Holy Spirit. So what do we do when we don’t know if our offender is truly sorry, yet is seeking our good graces???
Nowhere do we see a man having the ability to forgive actual sin, but we can only forgive the person who committed the sin — if they seek it. There is a big difference. What that ultimately means is that the “sin itself” still has to be mitigated against the blood and the cross. No one can escape this process of redemption.
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